Oh Happy Day! Oh Boo!

For those of you checking this for up dates:
I received my approval to purchase my plane tickets - the tickets where so expensive we decided to leave a week later than planned! I now leave January 8th.

I received a check in the exact amount that I had left to raise! Kinda wildly providencial - huh?

Oh yea!

Today someone gave me this prayer of St. Patrick:

Christ be with me, Christ within me,

Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me,

Christ in quiet,

Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me,

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

January 3rd Approaches

In a coffee shop again. Twice in one month!
Iced Tea is my choice - ironic because its around 5 degrees outside.
Today my fellow wifi user introduced himself to me - from Scottland, naturally friendly. Turns out he just finished touring as a chief for Rolling Stones. I asked him if the boots I am wearing would work for the wet Irish climate. He told me no and to get a good umbrella. He did tell me to look foward to warmer weather, clean air, and seeing stars in the night sky.

Meeting him has just made me Sooooooo ready to go!

Anyway-
Many people have been asking me how I am doing and if I am nervous. Nervous? Not as nearly as I should be. The only thing I am truely worried about is leaving some element of life here unfinished - or better and more simply - running out of time.
As far as how I am doing - well I am living on both sides.
Living in peace in the midst of having the least amount of control I have ever experienced.
Being in close comunication with my Lord and yet pondering if I have any reason to believe this hogwash at all.

Well my coffee neighbor keeps talking to me- a friendly chap - he's going on tour with Queen this summer. He also told me where to run into Bono in Dublin - J.W. eat your heart out.

To close out this sporatic wandering - I leave on January 3rd to start the next chapter of my life. This is where you will find details/observations on my life in Dublin.
Check it out often!

Embarking

This post thing is pretty fun - come up with a crazy post title then away you type.
Today I am embarking on a new adventure called wireless internet
For the first time ever I am on the "net" in a coffee shop
- actually just going to a coffee shop is a rarity for me on its own-
Anyway - this is so much fun I am so cool sitting here for hours clicking away!
(I really am working!)
There's this guy sitting near me who has been here for longer than I have
- he is so totally hardcore - he has a chocolate brown cord blazer on and chin length black hair and a scarf (that clinches the coolness) For as long as he has sat there I have been wondering what possibly could he be doing on his computer typing so much?
- And then there is the issue of using the fascilaties - everyone seems to just leave their stuff when they go to the restroom - I am just so paranoind that my 2001 laptop would walk with its newly installed ethernet card - that I have sat here for 2 hours having to pee.
-Of course the guy across from me did just get up - I should take something of his....
Oh wait - I'm a Christian and I don't steal. I could just pocket one of his suede gloves - he'd get up to go and be like "Hey where's my glove?" I would chuckle.

Anyway - the purpose of creating this blog is not to share my klepto fantasies but rather to share with visitors about my life in Ireland and prayer requests.
Embark away!

haystacks

Today I went to the art museum with an old dear friend.
Monet's haystacks looked like gumdrops to me - I felt guilty because I was supposed to be thinking about how brilliant the man was.
I got to thinking - did Monet paint to be known or did he paint because he had to.
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in being known - making my mark - ie when I leave will my presence be missed?
Most people share this obsession - likeablity - legacy - what to do on Friday night -
will anyone call? Is what we do important - does it make an impact - is "it" enough?

Monet probably painted because he had to -- get it out of him - he was driven to release
Not because he wanted people to like him - but because it was his air.

And yet - Eduard made a huge mark - left a legacy- transformed a culture.

Isn't that what we should desire:
above all else to have this burning need to get what is inside of us out -
to just be to the fullest extent of our beings - and not care about how it sounds or looks or tastes or smells - or that it was important - or brilliant in other's eyes.
Rather we should care that we got it out and that purging stepped us closer
to understanding what filled us.

To knowing what Christ sees in us.

2:30AM

So exhausted. Laying in bed trying to fall asleep. First I try to relax every muscle in my body, but my mind cannot focus on that task. I read for a while. Thinking I am ready to fall asleep, I try again - however no falling occurs.
I just want to rest!
SO here I am sitting at the computer. Thoughts are coursing through my head, and while I know that none of those thoughts can truely be satisfied until dawn my mind persistes in the torture. In less than 35 days the next chapter of my life begins.
I am so excited
I cannot sleep

Unexpected

Nothing really can be expected.
That scares me. That scares most - I think.
The crazy thing is Americans and maybe all humans thrive on what they think they can expect.
Southerners expected to live a routine September, then they expected the government to take care of them. Those are average expectations.
When we go to work we expect to get paid and continue working.
When we turn on the shower we expect water to come out.
When the sun sets at night we expect it to rise in the morning.

We expect life to go on trippingly according to the information we have gathered.

Right?

What happens when a curve ball is thrown into the mix?
When natural disasters hit, people make mistakes, the plumbing goes out?
When you spill hot oatmeal on your hand and sustain a burn that will take 6 months to heal?
When our pat plans decide to take a walk?

Craziness - everything goes to hell and life is no longer worth living.

Or I get smacked upside the head with Truth.
I am not in control. The One who is in control is sovereign, and actually knows the future -
So what I can expect is for One constant to navigate my day.
I am stronger than I know for my strength is not found in myself - why do I forget that?

"Be still and know"

Yet why will I continue to expect life to go according to my plans?
And why can't I learn?

Sad yet content
exhausted yet no place to sleep
empty yet too full to rest -

Most of all I long for stillness - reflection - energy to listen- to hear -
to do nothing -
In this absence all would be accomplished

Instead I ache body and soul for present to be future and home arriving
I long to weep but I am dried by the voices inside
"Strength lies in business"
"Strength lies within"
"Strength lies in appearance"

My strength does lie
it betrays my every fiber

Coming here the Truth slams into me suprizing - yet expected - I knew it all along
Back in it's place - in Balance - it is quite enough to hear....

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the Lord,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

disclaimer

I take life too seriously.

Don't expect too much

So today is the second day of having this new adventure.
I must admit that I have a little bit of anxiety about this whole event.
You see the nature of sitting in front of a keyboard and typing - for me -
lends content to be a solioquiy(sp?) in nature.
Me breathing my vulnerable side out
for all the world to behold.
And this is me - who has been told, "You are way too honest"

Thus I am going to err on the side of aloof -
well as aloof as my personality can allow.

Anyway - my thoughts on today - at its end -
I like to say, "Life is so hard" so as to mock myself - and maybe others.
I take life too seriously
most of the time.

To the King

This is the first day

Thank you for joining this journey.
Currently its a journey of discovery -
discovering how to do this blogging thing
discovering what's going on with this blogging thing
discovering how joining this community enriches my life.

Anyway as I figure out this stuff I'll show more of my thoughts on touching both sides.