Petering

Just wondering is petering or to peter out have anything to do with the apostle Peter? Dictionary.com did not have an origin.
It's 3:11 am and I cannot stop thinking - thoughts tie me to the alert. Presently: I always thought to peter or to be petering was like being in the middle of a see-saw - indecision. Apparently petering is to deminish slowly and stop, or to tire.

Either way I am petering.
And in this near delierious state I think I may even be Petering (as in apostle Peter - ing).

• I have learnt more about having patience this past year than in the whole sum of my life and yet I lack it still.
• Hope teases me dancing in and out of my heart on a day to day some times minute to minute basis.
• Have I become what I never wanted to? What did I never want to become?

Settled?
willing to Settle?
Just resigned to petering?

Hopeless reflections - hopefully morning will bring hope.

I'm so witty.

Going to be alright

Last night we went to a good bye party for the team that I worked on when I first came to Ireland. I had had a pretty extroverted week and was not particularly looking forward to continuing to be around people. That being said, I had an amazing time. Where a party normally is exhausting with small talk I actually had some really refreshing conversations with people.
Conversations that left me open and hopeful. We spoke of creative things and were able to encourage each other. Mark and I ended up leaving the party at the close and got home after 1 am.
That is crazy when I think that we were thinking at the beginning to just make an appearance.
This morning I am inspired.
Not so much to write a children's talk on ps 139, but to take a step towards being open vulnerable and creative. This is something that in the past few years I have avoided.
I am greatfull for my conversations last night.
I hope I don't close up too quickly.