Monday, October 09, 2006

Hopefully Doubting

Hope is a crazy notion isn't it?
Why do we muster strength to dive back into hoping when we should have learned from previous incidents that nothing changes?
Like if I touch a hot stove and get burned shouldn't that be the last time I ever touch a hot stove? You would think that I would learn not to.
Still - there is this hope that pushes us to continue.
Hope based on - whatever a person chooses - for me it's God's truth and goodness.
Hope propels me back into the fray - try again - this time will be better.
Still - there is a niggling thought - What if this time will be just like last time?
What if God isn't true and good - what if it is God's will to make me miserable?
Then what if I need to continue hoping and be crushed 15 times before the object of my hope is found?

I hope my doubt is proved wrong. I hope that I do not have to find that God wants me to be crushed. I hope the God I believe in doesn't want me to face and learn from my past over and over.

I hope.

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