crap

I am sitting here working a job that I hate and hoping that my boss finally lets me know that he will take me on full time. Yes I want to work a job that I hate full time.
Last night as I lay in bed dreading another Monday I thought of the pride my mother had on the phone that day at my excellent administrative skills. I hate administration. It was never my intention to be good at it or work in it.

How did I get so far away from anything that I had planned to do when the world was shinny and new to me?
How did I end up wanting a job that I know I will hate? Is security that important?
The thing is I've told myself that this is just for a little while so that we can go to gradschool.

The suck thing is how do I realistically think that I am going to support my husband while he is in school?
With another shit admin job that is how.

And ontop of that he won't let me smoke.